May you live to be old and…
May you live to be old and toothless.
Funny Birthday Wishes
May you live as long as you want to…
May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
Last week, the candle factory burned down…
Last week, the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday!’
Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your…
Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Happy Birthday!
It’s okay to light the candles on your…
It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
It’s proven that at the age 41 you…
It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full…
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. Do you remember what that used to feel like?
Napoleon must have been in command…
Napoleon must have been in command since you were separated from your mother.
It has been scientifically proven…
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
Is it getting hotter in here…
Is it getting hotter in here, or is it just all the candles on your cake?
The good news is that they aren’t teaching…
1066, 1492, 1776, and…your birthday? The good news is that they aren’t teaching the date of your birth in history classes yet. The bad news is that means I don’t have the date memorized. Happy belated birthday!
In the bathroom? In the toilet? On your desk?…
In the bathroom? In the toilet? On your desk? On the fireplace? At 40, it is still a great achievement to remember where the car keys are! All the best!
Can you sniff all of these candles…
Can you sniff all of these candles or should I call the fire department?
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you…
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that…
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
